Social media is encouraging us to abandon friendships
Friendships are becoming fake. No relationship is safe from abandonment these days. We are being told that some people are negative all the time. If that were true, how did you bond to form a friendship with a negative person? The truth of the matter is that most people are not negative. They are just going through a hard time.When they are speaking, can you hear them? Or you are one of those people who feels uncomfortable with high intense conversation? Then you turn it all on its head and say that your friend is not being positive. We have turned faithfulness into something to be mocked.
They use negative words
They use words like my friend is a narcissist, has bad energy. I say, no doubt to that. Because if a person, a friend is going through hell, they are in a negative space, a bad energy space. If we believe that human beings are an energy field then surely being charged negatively due to some bad stuff happening will turn your friend negative. But, for most people it’s not forever. It is just for these troubling times. They say things like my friend is trauma dumping. Turning a friend sharing a problem into someone who is making you a dumpster. That is disturbing. In the olden days, they called that sharing. People even believed that a problem shared, is a problem halved or solved. Because people would put their heads together and try to find a solution.
Hide behind spirituality
Other people hide behind their spirituality and say things like my friend is not prayerful. Or they say that their friend is being judged by God for such and such sin. They will be using the secrets that their friend shared with them in the past as a reason to judge their friend. Are you sure that God is the one judging them and not you? If God judged us based on our past mistakes, none of us would be standing. Spirituality calls us to be one with the Creator. Our Creator calls us to love one another. But I feel like there is no love lost among most people in the world these days. We need to love our friends dearly. In the bible, friendships are very much encouraged. We can look at the friendship of David and Jonathan as an example. But for most people, they are only asking for a listening ear. For someone to chat with. Can you give your friend a friendly ear?
Your friend is in pain
However, the truth is that your friend is in pain. They may be going through something hard. The truth of the matter is if your friend was truly negative, they wouldn’t be your friend in the first place. They are your friends because you shared some good times in the past. Calling your friend all these names is a way of shutting them up. Because once you label them negative, a bad energy person, you are not going to hear them. You are going to ignore their problems and maybe the friend all together. That scares me. Because the person is going through a hard time and is now going to lose their support from friends as well. Losing people when you need them most, is a harrowing experience.
You are a friend of good times only
You cannot deny the truth of raw human emotions. The intensity that life throws at us sometimes. The ups and downs of life. It’s good to tell your friend the truth that you feel uncomfortable with intense emotions or whatever. Why not give an ear to your friend and try to understand the hardship they are going through? How would you feel if you were the one going through it? Would you be positive?Are we encouraging toxic positivity? Being over the top positive even when it’s all negative. The sad truth is that bad things happen to all of us. Just because it is your friend’s turn, doesn’t mean that the same thing will not happen to you in the future or something different. Let’s face it; most of our friends’ problems are human problems like sickness, losing a job, break-ups, divorces, or death of a loved one. Will none of this happen to you too?
Will you be there for your friend? (Michael Jackson’s song will you be there?)
No one is replaceable
People, just like in friendships, are not replaceable. We are all unique. Are you willing to lose them because they are going through a hard time? Were you ever a true friend in the first place? I know that we live in a world where the illusion of togetherness with strangers online is very real. We carry the feeble mindset that everyone is replaceable. The truth is a friend in your community is better than friends online. When you are sick, are about to go homeless or whatever is happening in your life, the friend nearby can open their doors to you. What goes around, comes back around. You receive what you give. If you are a friend for good times only, you will attract the same. Woe is you to be alone in bad times. We all need a shoulder to cry on. Friendships are very important, maybe even more than family because you get to choose your friends.
Life happens to us all
Remember that life happens to us all. It may be their turn, when yours comes who is going to stand with you? Will you remember to not trauma dump? Let’s learn to love people we have made connections with. Making friends after a certain age is hard work. Hold on to people who love you because the illusion of replacement is just that; an illusion. A true friend is better than medicine.
Bible verses to remember the importance of friendships
Sometimes Christians forget that Jesus had friends to help him with his ministry. We call them apostles and disciples. He is the Son of God and he had friends. He met his apostles and disciples at their points of need. Can we do the same for our friends?
Proverbs 27:9 Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.
Ecclesiasticus 6:14-17 A faithful friend is a strong defense: and he that hath found such an one hath found a treasure. Nothing doth countervail a faithful friend, and his excellency is invaluable. A faithful friend is the medicine of life; and they that fear the Lord shall find him. Whoso feareth the Lord shall direct his friendship aright: for as he is, so shall his neighbour be also.