Negative people and the word

They see the glass half empty. There is no joy or hope in them. There is just darkness. Sometimes you want to ask them,’What happened to you? What made you this way?’ Yes, life is hard and can be difficult to navigate but these people seem hell bent on only seeing the impossible. You will give them ten solutions to a problem and they will give you a hundred reasons the solutions will never work. It’s draining to live with such souls. 

I grew up with naysayers and I am living with one. I feel exhausted. Everything is wrong with such people. Not just once in a while but all the time. There is no room to breathe. I understand now what people mean when they say someone is being a bad fruit. A bad fruit will corrupt all other fruits, not the other way around. They see the world through this grey overcast lens and you feel like you are walking with them, in the dark. I want to leave the place so bad because negativity is contagious. A hopeful heart and faith are needed in life. Living in such negativity is like watching horror movies on a loop and you wonder why you are depressed.

Ruth 1:20 She said to them, "Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me.

We live in a world that tells us to let go of our past. Or tells us to not let our past experiences rule over us. The truth is we are a sum of all  our past experiences. Our past traumas rule us today. When a situation becomes hopeless, some people lose hope forever. They become like Naomi in the bible; the woman who became bitter after losing her husband and two sons. Life can turn a soft loving heart into granite. 

All we need is love. Our families of origin can make us or break us. If there is a lack of support in your family of origin, you may become negative. Why? Because lack of love and care exposes you to the harsh truths of life at an early age when your brain is still developing. You need love, especially at an early age. Parents are supposed to nurture us, show us the possibilities of a bright life by embracing us as we are. But for some children, it’s just a dream because their real lives are a nightmare. Growing up unloved causes us to wall off love, to disconnect from our feelings and to fear vulnerability. We build up walls so high that none can penetrate, including hope and faith. We can turn negative.

I grew up in a house of negativity. Everything and everyone was bad. I was surrounded by people who refused to see any positive possibilities for their own futures. The air was thick with negativity. Each turn was met with a bend. There were no solutions but lots of problems. I hated being there. But some people who grow up in such environments, soak up the modelled behaviour. Not intentionally, but we are a sum of our environments. 

In a polarised world, it’s easy to look at the other side, whatever that other side is, and see pure evil. Social media doesn’t help on this matter. Conspiracy theorists are growing in number everyday. The problem with social media is algorithms. We are all living in our own echo chambers. It will feed you what you click and like. It confirms our biases and leaves us bitter and divisive. How can you not become negative when all you hear is bad news? All you are told is that you are right.

The other side, the other people are brainwashed and stupid. It’s laughable. Because the people on the other side think the same about you. I wish we lived in a world of facts. Where news reporters were not biased but reported the hard cold facts as they are. It’s up to us to become discerning adults. To be smart and see that the world is much more complex than believing our conspiracies. 

Born alone but built for companionship. People are struggling with loneliness especially in the western world. Hyperindependence is a curse. You cannot build a community with hyperindependent individuals. Each man for himself and God for us all. Being lonely means being by your mind all the time. No one challenges your beliefs and your actions. You can become a negative person just by repeating your brain lies to yourself. Our brain lies because it is built for protection. When you have other people in your life, they might prove your points void, if you are willing to listen.

I would encourage you to leave, if you can. Negativity is contagious. Like I said before; a bad fruit affects the others not the other way around. There are people you can live with where hope goes to die. There is no bone of hope in them. How can you live in a hopeless place and expect to flourish? We all go through some negativity once in a while when chips are down. But there are people who live in a dark, negative place. There is a difference.

1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be deceived: "Bad company ruins good morals."

Do not put any of their advice to heart. They see no hope and have no faith for a bright future. These are the people that if you tell your dreams to, they will stamp them down and make you lose focus. Don’t tell such people about any of your dreams. If you make that mistake, and they start to share their ‘advice’, don’t take it to heart. They are at a negative frequency and you need to be careful. Even the bible tells us to be careful of bad words as shown in the verse, above.

But don’t hold out to hope. There are people who suck out energy out of a room. Be careful of the company you keep. The two verses I use to remember this are:

Proverbs 13:20 Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

Yes, life is hard. But we all need cheerleaders in our lives. When I can’t go on or see the forest for the trees, I need someone who can move me forward. Find positive people and invite them into your life.

Proverbs 4:23-24 Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. Put away from you crooked speech, and put devious talk far from you.